There's no I in Team

4: a number of persons associated together in work or activity

This is how Merriam-Webster's Dictionary defines team. I happen to think it's a little bit short of the full definition, but it'll work. It should end with, "to achieve a common goal".

I currently have and have had this bad taste in my mouth about what "TEAM" means, mainly as pertains to sport. I am a big fan of ice hockey of all sorts. I also love football, more NFL than college, but football in general. Baseball is ok, basketball is for the birds...maybe it's because how I see teamwork.

It's almost comical in certain interviews how being a true team and unifying to win a championship is reaching novelty status. The reason that the New England Patriots, the Detroit Red Wings, the Indianapolis Colts to name a few are excellent teams. They actually adhere to all for one attitudes and values. These team are machines where each player is just a cog in the wheel that drives their success. No matter who you are and what you do, you are replaceable. Not for a matter of ego, but for the greater good of the team. Now there are players that are exceptional and do stand out, like Tom Brady but for the most part it's all business and all on the same page. The Eagles are so close to getting there and I think they have the concept, but just get tripped up here and there (T.O.)

Just listen to the football and basketball interviews. The players are in it for themselves and it's disheartening. Remember Ricky Watters? "For who, or what?"

These guys need to actually be involved in something other than sports to understand unity. Or at least their specific sport. Have them go to basic training, or pledge...something so they actually understand that working together is more than just being in the same room or same game. It means doing whatever it takes to win or succeed, even if it means not being the star.

I went to an all boys prep school, and then rowed for 4 years. After that I pledged and was in a fraternity. I get the unity concept. I have taken it and applied it to work as well. In the working world, it's just as bad. People climbing the ladder, talking shit about coworkers. It's poison and it keeps the company for succeeding. But for some reason we reward the individuals who are in it for themselves.

The Bill Belichek and Bill Parcells of the world are looked at as tough assholes, but it just a matter of discipline. That's why their teams win. Why the other NFL teams (in this case) don't pay attention and follow their lead is beyond me. The 49ers were the same way. All for one and one for all.

I guess this goes back to my last post about being open or being closed. So be open people! Open to new ways of thinking, or woring together to achieve a goal. Your ways may have done you well to this point, but there is always another way for it to be done/thought about.

In the end your success will be better savored together with those that you have helped and have helped you.

What's So Funny About Peace, Love, and Understanding? (Hugs)

Before you read this entry, take 5 minutes and watch this video. Even if you've seen it before, watch it to the end.

www.youtube.com/watch?v=iRpgwgVwCVA

I love this video. It makes my heart warm.

I have always been a pretty touchy, huggy kind of person. It comes from how I was raised. My brother and I still kiss our father, and hugs are just how we say hello. My mom loved how cuddly Ryan and I were growing up and she gave us lots of love in return. To me a hug is as vital to living as fresh air and clean water. A good hug is a warm, tight reassurance from another human that transfers good energy, and conveys a sense of love, caring and compassion.

Life is tough. It hurts sometimes. It's sad sometimes. I have found that a hug is a great universal "aspirin" for life. A hug is also a wonderful way to celebrate the joys and happiness of life.

Being a guy, hugging another man is frowned upon by some, and seen as "gay" to others. Usually it's a homophobic thing, but other times it's a matter of not being comfortable with a violation of personal space. I have encountered all of the 1/4 hugs, 1/2 hugs, bro hugs, and full on bear hugs. I try to make every effort to give everyone as big and strong of a hug as I can. Mainly because I feel like there is a shortage of hugs in the world. Thus my affection for the "Everyday" video.

Living in Colorado, I got to hone my hugging skills and practice quite a bit. I consider myself a hippie at heart. I wear the short haired, clean cut Republican look mainly for work. Peel it back and I'm all peace and love, man. The folks in CO are professionals. In my 7 years there following String Cheese and Phish I got together with some of the most loving caring, life celebrating people in the world. They know how to hug. The heart to heart hug. The group hug. The hug from the back. Looooong strong hugs with a mutually intense back and forth transfer of good love energy. There are some folks (P) that I almost felt actual electricity from. When you let go and feel them feeling you and concentrate, it's like nothing else.

Hippies get a bad rap I feel. No one takes us seriously. We are supposedly high all the time and don't or won't hold a job. Stinky and absent minded are also terms that are used. The thing that I love most about hippies is the strong sense of community and one love. Helping and loving your brothers and sisters, lending a hand, and always ready with a hug. In the Cheese and Phish crowd, it is a big family. So many shows and so many instances where altruism reigned. I haven't really been to a "mainstream" concert lately to compare, but there is rarely an incident of violence at these events. I always make a point to chat with the concession folks and security to see how kids are behaving, and without fail they all have smiles on their faces and have great things to say. It's this prevailing attitude of love instead of hate. A smile instead of a frown. And the one thing that carries and maintains this wave of goodness it's hugs.

I find it somewhat ironic that the "straight" people that slam or slight the hippies are those that stand by the Bible and don't see that this is Christ's teaching in real life. Love one another as I love you. Funny.

Someone somewhere once told me that people are like clams. They are either open or they are closed. It's not too hard to spot this after spending a few minutes with someone. You are either open..to new ideas, new people, love, happiness....or you are closed. It's the open people that I want to surround myself with. Think about it, you gotta be open to get a hug right??

So if this rings true to you at all, take a few minutes and offer someone a hug. A friend, a coworker, even a stranger. One hug could be all that they need to feel better about themselves. That one hug could be the only hug they've gotten all week, all month. The power of touch is immeasurable. Try to make it a habit to give those you do hug a longer deeper more concentrated hug. Feel the other person's heart close to yours, and then hold it for a minute. Take a deep breath or two. Close your eyes and melt away. I guarantee it will make you feel better as well as the other person. After all, they don't cost nothin.

Music

I have been told throughout my life to "follow my bliss", to "do what I love" and the like. It has taken me a while, but I have come to discover that my passion lies with music. More specifically, live music, but music in general. I love music. Music of all types. People ask me what I listen to, and it's basically everything. I can recall my earliest exposure to live music being on Sesame Street. I recall watching Stevie Wonder kill Superstition.

www.youtube.com/watch?v=_ul7X5js1vE

It was groovy and made me move. My dad was a big influence on my early appreciation of music whether he knew it or not. We would listen to AM radio in the car. I remember lots of Motown. Jackie Wilson, the Four Tops, Stevie. I also remember finding a box of vinyl in the basement laundry room closet. Albums such as The Jimi Hendrix Experience "Are You Experienced" and a double cassette of Woodstock. It had to be an original release. I was maybe 12 or 13. Sadly, he didn't foster my interest, but I took it upon myself to dig through and listen to it all. I also remember the next door neighbor who was about 5-10 years older who turned me on to Queen and Kiss. I would queue up the dusty turntable and listen over and over and over again.

As I grew older, kids at school got me into the Doors and Led Zeppelin and eventually the Dead and a host of other good quality music. I remember going to CYO dances and just dancing till I was a sweaty mess. Songs like Rock n Roll by Led Zep, Jump -Van Halen. Into high school the Prep had the best mixers, and obviously wanting to meet girls, the best way to mingle was to dance. More sweaty Kevin on the dance floor.

Where things really took off was in the Fall of 1992. Actually after Christmas break. A fraternity brother came back with a new CD by a band called Phish. It was Picture of Nectar (http://www.phish.com/releases/detail.php?ID=51).

My buddy Chuck, Bob (who brought the CD) and I immersed ourselves into this new odd band. In February of 1993 we saw that they were playing not too far away in Bloomsburg, PA at the University. That's a whole other story, but after that show I recall my jaw being on the ground and asking, "Who the HELL are these guys? and when can I see them again?" This started a love affair that continues today, but more importantly taught me the value and magic that is LIVE music. As I mentioned , I spent a ton of time wearing out cassettes of studio albums, but never before did this improvisation and whimsy show its face to me. Phish also was and is still known for never playing the same songs in the same order from show to show. In addition, they wouldn't draw up a set list and ALLOWED tapers. So in the early days, cassette tape trading was how I got my fix. Yes, the ol' B+P's (blanks and postage) route. Find someone who had bootlegs, and mail them blank cassette tapes and money for postage to mail them back after they were dubbed. Now I could obsess over live music and see how these concerts were stitched together, one so different from the other.

I have since seen Phish upwards of 55 times, another band that I encountered in Colorado was String Cheese Incident (also about 50+ times). They too had the same improvisational, poly genre, taper friendly scene. The best part about Cheese was that they were small and even more unknown. So getting within feet of the stage was relatively easy. Being that close, I then was able to be face to face with these guys creating the music. Not just listening, but experiencing them bring it to life. It was and still is a thrill to see how they will communicate with each other during a song to take the tune one way or another, or to "pass" the lead. Not only that but to FEEL the music.

Music at the root is nothing but vibrations. Whether it's strings, or the beating of a drum, it's all vibrations. So to be at a show and stand close to the speakers, you can not only hear the music, but feel it. Heavy bass lines rumbled my chest cavity. This really touched me. Trey Anastasio, the lead singer and guitarist extraordinaire of Phish put it this way.

ANASTASIO: Well, purity of intent and playing in a way that is beyond the ego. I never even feel like I'm performing. I feel like I'm there to be an intermediary between music that's in the universe and the audience. It sounds silly, but I believe it more than I believe anything in my life. When I'm onstage I feel this incredible togetherness and intense energy that is like fuel for goodness. It's something that I've felt so strongly that in the last few years I started researching it, reading interviews with musicians to see if others have felt this way-and they have. I've read interviews with Brahms, Bach, Jimi Hendrix, Sun Ra, Duke Ellington, [jazz trumpeter] Art Farmer and many others and found similar themes running through them. All of them essentially say, "There are vibrations there, a natural order to the universe, and I'm not really making music. I'm just hearing it and channeling it so that other people can hear it." Everyone calls it something different-Brahms said it was coming from God and Sun Ra said it was coming from Saturn-but it's always a very similar experience.

It was when I moved to Colorado and got to know others who "got it" the way I did, did I feel comfortable knowing I wasn't alone...that I wasn't "weird" for being so into music.

Going to shows became my "church". It was and still is the 2-3 hours where I escape from the world and get lifted. I call it my soul scrubbing. Feeling the searing guitar licks in my toes and fingertips. Letting my legs and arms move on their own without thinking...a zen like state where I am feeling the collective energy of the room and the band all swirling around.

This is something that over time, has become and is an integral part of who Kevin Emery is.

Music has become the soundtrack to my life, and to steal from a good friend, "It is the route to my soul". Maybe it's my love of movies, but I feel like per my mood, there should be the proper music in the background. So many good memories have a song attached to them. As with the sense of smell triggering memories, so do certain songs.

For example. On a Halloween trip to Las Vegas to see Phish, at around 3am crossing the footbridge to the MGM Grand, dressed in an utterly repulsive 70's polyester outfit, what comes on the speakers, but "Stayin Alive" -Bee Gees. So apropos. Camping in the Rockies was made better with Tim O'Brien's "Lands End" as played by String Cheese during the first morning's cup of coffee by the fireside. Neil Young's "Harvest Moon" - the memory of my best friend Dave Laub.

All of these things and many more linked to a song. I sometimes stop and ponder what it's like for those who don't or have not yet embraced music in their lives. There are people that just don't listen to music at all or on a regular basis. I was married to one. To not have that color in their lives, almost is sad to me. If made to choose between losing my sight or hearing, I would choose my sight. To live in a quiet world without music would be an awful and hollow place.

I took up the acoustic guitar at one point. I wasn't terribly successful, as I am a more linear thinker. But in the time I spent, I did learn to play Pink Floyd's "Wish You Were Here". I remember almost being in tears at the fact that I created my own music. ME! And so my appreciation for those with natural talent grew.

So to know me, is to know that I have a passion for music. A drive to see these blessed individuals come together to make this sound that penetrates deep into the soul and psyche to bring me and others to a place where happiness abounds. If you get annoyed at how much I talk about my favorite bands, or wonder why I spend my hard earned money traveling places just for "a concert", maybe you should give it a try. Or better yet, ask to come with me. I have turned a few people on to various bands in the years past. It's something that I love to do. The particular band may not be your cuppa tea, but at least you gave it a shot and opened your mind and heart to something different. To art, to the vibration. if it isn't that band or artist, maybe it's another. At some point, I think you will find it and feel how it plucks those strings deep inside you and connects you to others and the universe as a whole.

and awaaay we go

So having decided to enter the blogosphere, this is my first post. I am not quite sure how this will progress, but my English degree may finally come in hand.
Being in sales and the service industry for so long, I encounter the general public (g.p.) often. Due to this, I see and have seen all walks of life and have encountered many different viewpoints, opinions and life experiences. Now I certainly don't want to be one of those bloggers/people that think my way of thinking/living is the only way or the right way. By no means is that the case. But time after time I get the urge to prattle on about what my "Kevinisms" are and how I view the world & universe.
Being recently divorced after 7+ years of marriage and with the same woman for 15+ years, I feel as if I have been given a new lease on life. A new and unexpected chance to live the way I want to live and do the things that truly make me happy without wondering if she will approve. I've already begun to explore this newly found freedom, this blog is yet another of those new things.
Those of you who know me, will most likely not be too surprised at what will come forth on this page. Those of you who don't, will get a front row seat to The Thoughts Inside My Head. So keep an eye out. I am not sure how often I'll get on here, and if it'll be at all interesting. But with most things Kevin, it should at least make you smile and hopefully give you another perspective on this thing we call Life.

Be well & happy